Thoughts on speaking to total strangers

Another shout out to @Anesh Daya, who directed me to a podcast in which he was interviewed. What a great interview!

Anesh calls himself the “Founder, Director of Studies & Chief Happiness Officer” of his innovative company “On the Spot Language.” He created a practical language immersion model, in which young ESL students learn to speak English with greater speed, fluency and confidence than in the old-fashioned traditional stodgy classroom environment. With the guidance of specially trained coaches, students learn to approach total strangers for information and to teach themselves to become “independent learners.”

It’s an immersion program, based in Toronto, whose foundational activity is human interaction, i.e., striking up conversations with total strangers. The classroom is the real world: restaurants, cafes, shopping malls and the streets.

Anesh is clear. Not every person will want to engage in conversation, however minimal. His students learn how to approach people in a non-threatening way, asking questions about the history of Toronto or Canada that could be answered with a simple response, but which could also spark conversation if the stranger is so inclined. Students might approach 100 people, of which only four end up engaging in lengthy or more meaningful interaction. But isn’t that also a reflection of life?

He’s interviewed along with one other person, Robbie Stokes Jr., the American creator of the “I Talk to Strangers Foundation,” (http://ittsfoundations.org/) a social movement encouraging “young adults to develop positive networks and lasting relationships by meeting new people.” His is a challenge to reach out and experience the world in new and profound ways.

Robbie has brought his movement to Canada, specifically Toronto, where interested people can get together through Meetups (https://www.meetup.com/I-Talk-To-Strangers-in-Toronto/) to connect, talk and share activities. He’s also taking his movement around the world.

These are two people with a powerful message to share about stepping out of our comfort zone and making lives richer. We learn profound and lasting lessons when we reach out to people we don’t know and connect on a human level.

If you’re interested, you can listen to the interview with Anesh and Robbie at  https://www.megaphonic.fm/unlonely/5

And of course, you can also watch this week’s One-Minute Words on the Canadian Pronunciation Coach YouTube channel

 

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Thoughts on building up your public speaking confidence

Last week I wrote about stepping out of our comfort zone.

Whether you’re a speaker of English as a Second Language (ESL), English as a Common Language (ECL) or English as a Native Language, many of us struggle with self-confidence when we have to get up to speak in front of people.

For speakers of ESL and even speakers of ECL, part of that lack of confidence can be helped by correcting the sounds that cause confusion.

But for all of us, there’s still an emotional component that has nothing at all to do with vocal mechanics. The idea of simply getting up to face a group of people we may or may not know and talk to them is absolutely terrifying.

Now public speaking skills can be taught. I coach those skills. But getting the practice to use those skills, that’s something else. Practising in front of a mirror will help. It’s good, but it’s not enough. You need to face people. And Toastmasters provides the perfect place.

At Toastmasters, I watch speakers of ESL, speakers of ECL and native English speakers alike get up and challenge themselves to talk on a regular basis. Their courage is admirable and contagious.

Sometimes they’ll give a speech from memory. Sometimes they’ll get up to speak on a random “table topic,” with no preparation at all.

Sometimes, they’ll take on one of the weekly roles:

• One person will announce how long each speech was.
• Another will ask questions about the content to see it people were listening.
• Still another will provide a word of the week for vocabulary building.

The point is that there are always opportunities to get up and speak in front of members and guests.

And that’s what’s important. Stepping out of your comfort zone and speaking publicly.

There’s a wonderful saying that I absolutely love:

 The comfort zone is a beautiful place to live, but nothing grows there.

Toastmasters is a beautiful place – a comfort zone of unwavering support in the joy and exuberance of its members. But every time you give a speech or wade into the deep and sometimes troubled waters of “table topics,” every time you take on a role, you step out of your comfort zone and grow.

Every week there are lessons to take away: in the shared camaraderie of watching and giving speeches and the universal hesitation of taking on table topics; in the gentle guidance of the speech “evaluators” and the smiles and applause that greet every single person who gets up to speak.

Toastmasters is a wonderful community that welcomes strangers with open arms, no matter what their age, and encourages but never pressures them to participate.

I can’t think of a better way and a more caring environment for speakers of ESL, ECL and native English speakers alike to build up your confidence. Find a branch near you and check it out.

And don’t forget to watch this week’s One-Minute Words on The Canadian Pronunciation Coach YouTube channel

Thoughts on stepping out of the comfort zone

It’s important to accept ourselves as we are. It is. Yes, we’re good enough as we are.

But sometimes we can use the idea of “good enough” as an excuse for not pushing ourselves to try something different.

I’m not talking about something extreme like white-water rafting or tandem parachute jumping or bungee jumping. It’s not just about facing physical danger.

I’m talking about little things.

For me, who had often given speeches and presentations using notes, it was giving a speech without notes for very first time. The relief and joy I felt was palpable to everyone around me.

For some, it might be walking an hour and half to a destination you’d normally get to by car or public transit. When we travel, we never think twice about walking for an hour or two. Might the neighbourhoods you’ve ignored so often as you passed by suddenly come alive with colour and sound?

For some, it might be finding a restaurant where the “locals” eat, where you don’t recognize a single thing on the menu. You look over at the next table and say to your waiter, “I’ll have whatever they’re having.” Might you suddenly find adventure in the city you’ve lived in your whole life?

For everyone, it can be about making a list of all the routine things we do and asking ourselves, “Why do I always do things the same way? What would happen if I were to do somethings differently?” How might I feel?

That’s what my advanced speakers of English as a Second Language or English as a Common Language face when they come to me for coaching. They’ve usually done fine with their English as it is. And yet, they’ve decided to challenge themselves to do more.

Sometimes it’s to make their pronunciation just a little clearer. Sometimes it’s to take their language abilities to a new level of sophistication. Sometimes it’s to add energy and emotion to their communication skills. They know change won’t come overnight, but they make the commitment to work at it. The excitement they feel as they change and grow feeds them, as does the thrill when other people notice.

Change isn’t easy. Sometimes it comes in a flash. More often, it comes slowly. I admire and applaud their spirit and determination.

There are things that all of us have done throughout our lives that we’ve never questioned because the answers could make us uncomfortable.

It’s unnerving to do things differently when we’ve been comfortable doing them the same way for so long. It’s so much easier to stay in one place with a minimum of stress and no risk – where the outcome is certain.

It’s hard to change. It takes courage. It takes stepping out of the comfort zone.

But oh … the rewards …

Your thoughts are always most welcome.

Don’t forget to check out this week’s One-Minute Words on The Canadian Pronunciation Coach channel.