Thoughts on coaches as “motivators”

There can be so many different factors that affect intelligibility. It’s a combination of  incorrect pronunciation of words, rhythm, intonation, volume, word stress ….

So how do we “measure out” corrections when we have limited hours with clients and so much we all want to achieve? Give too many, too quickly, too soon, too forcefully, and it’s easy to overwhelm and discourage.

Our clients are often busy people with careers and families. They’re also, often, successful, hard-working and tired. Though we think that age brings patience, often successful people are proud and confident of their achievements. High achievers can also get discouraged in a new endeavour that demands changes to entrenched habits tied into their identity.

We need to be mindful and ready to adapt to their needs. Less can be more.

And we need to model and motivate.

We want them to look forward to these “extracurricular” studies. We want to motivate them to practise wherever they can, with whatever time they have. In some ways, as demanding as learning new communication skills can be, our classes and their individual practice can be a beautiful refuge from the pressures of workplace and family.

We need to make their classes joyful and uplifting. More than just informative or instructive, we need to energize and encourage.

Whether we’re working with groups or coaching individuals, our exuberance should be infectious and our support –– unambiguous.

Everyone can learn … everyone. If we can help them to be patient and forgiving of themselves. If we can inspire them to adopt realistic expectations. A plateau precedes progress. And the most minuscule improvement is a step forward and deserves celebration.

If we can be coaches and motivators, we can work with a recipe that will fuel the success of our clients.

Your thoughts are most welcome.

Don’t forget to check out this week’s One-Minute Words 

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Thoughts on staying motivated and managing expectations

For the last two weeks, I’ve talked about how practising in a different way, in small manageable chunks with complete attention, totally absorbed in the task at hand, can bring about improvement more quickly. It’s much more effective to practise for shorter periods before the muscles start to weaken and the mind starts to wander.

Still, there’s what I call the “frustration” factor. You’re working with full concentration and practising every day, but in your own mind, change seems to be taking forever.

How do you stay motivated? How do you keep going? How do you not give up?

The first thing, of course, is to have a very clear long-term goal in mind. Is it:

• to get through conversations without being asked to repeat yourself?
• to get that promotion that has been held back because of your communication skills?
• to communicate more effectively with colleagues, clients, customers, patients?
• to make yourself understood on the telephone?
• to speak more like your kids?

Having your long-term goal clearly in mind is very important. Equally important is having reasonable expectations: understanding that learning takes place in five stages and recognizing and embracing each stage as it arrives.

Stage 1

When you first begin the study of accent management, expect that you’ll leave class and forget everything you’ve learned. Why should you remember anything? You’re letting go of habits you’ve held from the time you started learning this new language – quite possibly years! You’re going to refocus your brain, reprogram your ears, retrain your muscles and strengthen your memory. So just congratulate yourself on having had the courage to actually begin a program of study.

Stage 2

Very soon you begin to develop awareness. You start noticing sounds that you’d never heard before. Certain patterns begin to emerge. You hear syllable stress. This is very exciting. Embrace it, but don’t get too excited. Just keep practising exactly as you have been, in manageable little chunks with full attention, every day. Keep listening passively and absorb what you hear. The filter between your native language and English is beginning to dissipate.

Stage 3

You start noticing your mistakes. You may get frustrated, even angry with yourself. You just can’t seem to make the changes you need to match the sounds and rhythms you’re hearing all around you. That’s okay. Your mind is making the connections. You’re on the verge of change! Keep practising in small manageable chunks, with full attention.

Stage 4

It happens at last! Your awareness shifts. Your muscles get into the correct positions to create the sounds you’ve been hearing. You’re remembering where to put the syllable stress, the word stress. You begin experimenting with the short-form English you’ve been hearing but were afraid to use: gotta, hafta, doncha, wanna. You start, tentatively, linking one syllable to the next.

Stage 5

Now your speech begins to flow as your muscles get stronger and move more quickly. You incorporate more of the English vernacular. You drop consonants, change vowels, add words and expressions in a way you had never thought you would.

These are the stages of learning, and they arrive with continuous concerted focused practice. There are bumps along the way, for sure. At times you may feel stuck.

But like a baby, you’ve been taking small steps, falling down and getting back up, listening to the world around you with innocence and wonder until you start to take note, understand, imitate and make things your own. So keep your long-term goal in mind, but be supportive of your growth.

Be patient. Be determined. And above all, don’t give up.